Listening in mediation - the number 1 skill for  successfiul mediation particpation 

Listening Skills 

Taking part in mediation can feel challenging, and listening well is one of the most helpful skills you can bring to the conversation.

This is really difficult when you have your story and you want to explain your point of view.

If, however, you don’t listen to the other person, you may miss what matters most to them and lose the chance to suggest a way forward that they could accept.

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Instead, listen for what matters most to the other person. Understanding their position gives you a better chance of making a suggestion they may find acceptable.

1) Are you listening to understand what the other person is saying and where they are coming from?

2) Can you remember what they have said?

3) Once you have listened and checked that you understand, respond by acknowledging the other person’s main point before explaining your own view.

So, what are the most important points about listening within mediation?

• Give the other person time to speak. It takes time to really listen to someone else and acknowledge what they are saying, and for you to process your understanding and decide how to respond. 
• Stop thinking about your own position and think about the other person and what they are saying. Focus on the other person.   Don’t spend the time while they are speaking deciding what you want to say next.  You will be given time to do that when they have finished.
• Once you have listened be curious and ask questions. These should be open ended. What? Why? How?
• Please try not to interrupt. It extends the time taken to say something and means the other person will lose their thread. It is impossible to hear what is being said if two people are talking at once.

Listening well in mediation means giving the other person space to speak, focusing on what matters to them, and checking your understanding before you respond. When you listen with curiosity and patience, it becomes easier to build trust and find a way forward that feels fair and workable for everyone.