Listening in mediation 


Listening Skills 


A large part of coming to a mediation meeting is to be able to listen.


This is really difficult when you have your story and you want to explain your point of view.


If however you don’t listen to the other person you may not get the best out of your meeting .


Will you know what the other persons position is? You may miss an important opportunity to learn what is important to the other person and make a suggestion they may find acceptable. 


1) Are you listening to understand what the other person is saying and where they are coming from.

2) Can you remember what they have said? The mediator will write up important notes or you can note down significant points. Remember this is all confidential.

3) Now it’s your chance to respond.


So, what are the most important points about listening within mediation?

  • Give the other person time to speak. It takes time to really listen to someone else and acknowledge what they are saying and for you to process your understanding and decide how to respond. 
  • Stop thinking about your own position and think about the other person and what they are saying. Focus on the other person.   Don’t spend the time while they are speaking deciding what you want to say next.  You will be given time to do that when they have finished.
  • Once you have listened be curious and ask questions. These should be open ended. What? Why? How?
  • Please try not to interrupt. It extends the time taken to say something and means the other person will lose their thread. It is impossible to hear what is being said if two people are talking at once.


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© Mary Raymont